I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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