just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
