it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
50% drunk capacity currently
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
