The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
