TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
