I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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