i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
ttyl tear gas
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
