It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
