I can tuck mytits in my pants
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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