my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
