Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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