She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
