if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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