I forgot how hot balto sounded
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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