im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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