Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
