Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
BRING THE BAGELS
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
