I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
