We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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