Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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