absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize