I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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