I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
