Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
