I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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