Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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