i permit you to call me
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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