i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
