I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
