Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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