Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
