Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
