I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
