Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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