If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
