you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
