I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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