I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
