My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
