Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I have feelings that need drinking.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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