The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
