In the future we'll all be gay
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
