That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Boobs speak an international language.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
