what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
