woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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