Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
