I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize