If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
