yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
