no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
