I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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