She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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