After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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