I wannas sexs uuuuu
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
