She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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