Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
