Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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