I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
