I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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