Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
