Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
