isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
