I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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