how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
