If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
