Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
