He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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