Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
